Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken. — Oscar Wilde. This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates. Continue reading My First Blog Post
……1 year later July Me and ChuckyJuly 28, 2017 This was soon after the first time I had ever smoked meth. The first time I ever walked away from my husband, whom I still was in love with. The First man I slept with besides my husband in 10 years. I had been unhappy for a long time, he brought me so much happiness in … Continue reading later
I thought I loved the chaos, that I was living an exciting life
But you cannot be a gangster, a loving mother, and a wife Continue reading Married to Meth – Loving, Loathing, Leaving
Yes I got high again.
Yes I am high right now.
No, I’m not going to bother with an excuse, I wanted it, I did it. Continue reading Chances…Choices- Stalling Sobriety
Personal Growth occurs when you get tired of your own bullshit. Its one thing for me to lie to other people, but I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. Over the course of the past week or two I’ve told myself multiple times that this is the last time, the last bowl, yet i keep finding excuses to get “just a little bit more”.
Continue reading Shame & Secrets: A Plea, Prison and the PTA {8/10/20}
November 21, 2019 I wish I knew what to say, but I cant seem to think straight anymore. It seems to me the moment I feel sure about something, and start to accept things as they are, things begin to morph and transform into something else, and then I am facing a decision that’s not even close to what I thought it was going to … Continue reading Falling for Thor {11/21/19}
I don’t even know where to begin. Im pregnant. Or at least the test I took about 14 hours ago says that i am. Every time i even let that thought cross my mind though i have a miniature panic attack or breakdown; and it gets hard for me to breathe……. Baby trap “the mobile edition” has somehow started living with me. Bailey has been … Continue reading Pregnancy Test and a Meth bowl {10/21/19}
September 5, 2019 My life ended when hers did, so why am i still here?Can i find happiness in a world i wish i wasnt part of?I have no will to live. i havent just lost myself, i gave up on finding me again. I wonder if I ever really knew myself in the first place. Does anyone? If actions had no consequences, would that … Continue reading I Died June 30- My Life Ended the Moment Hers Did {9/5/19}
February 27, 2020 How do you even keep saying or pretending that you want this marriage to work out? For months Ive wanted you to try, to just put forth some effort, show me that you are actually willing to step up, and instead you just lay down and die. I begged for so long for the same things, yet you refuse to even try. … Continue reading A Melting Marriage- Letter to Jaz
January 26, 2020 (Thor) I had the thought to write some of this earlier this week – its become important to me because I want to put the good and the bad, Giving as close to an accurate description of my life as I can. Right now probably isn’t the best moment to do it- Im currently drowning in unprocessed unfiltered emotions that I’m fighting … Continue reading Gold Guarded Giant- Moments, Memories & Mourning
Madness brings only relief, after drowning for so long in miseryLetting go of all the anger, grab the life line that hidden insanityFought so hard for control, but its an illusion your unable to maintainBecause sanity cannot survive when a heart wages war with a brain Arms that cant hide bruises and tracks , demons always leave a traceA body covered in layers of scars … Continue reading Heartbeat of Scars and Tracks
Once Upon A Meth Addict 